FIC: A Barely Controlled Urge (G&B) PG-13
Fandom: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Characters/Pairing: Rupert Giles, Buffy Summers(pre-het), Xander Harris
Word Count: 2,102
Summary: There's still one urge he can't control.
A/N: Set in my Blood and Other Bad Things 'Verse But you don't have to read the others to read this. All you should know is Giles is a vampire
A couple of months had passed since Tara had done the spell to place a cage around his demon and in all that time most of the urges he had felt had been controllable. All but one.
At first he had put it down to residual bloodlust. Nothing that wouldn’t disappear over time. But it hadn’t. At least not all of it. Especially whenever he was around Buffy. It took all of his willpower, every ounce of self-control that he had to keep from pulling her into his arms and sinking his fangs into the soft skin of her neck. He was almost positive if he was around her much longer eventually he wouldn’t be able to control himself. That’s why he had finally come to the conclusion it would be better for all concerned if he no longer stayed anywhere near Buffy. Now if only he could get through the hard part. But that wouldn’t be telling Buffy, although he wasn’t looking forward to it. No, the hardest part would be convincing himself that he could exist without her in his life. As long as he knew she was in this world then he could manage.
Giles ran a hand through his hair. He just didn’t understand. He had thought the spell had worked, he knew it had, he’d felt it but something must have gone wrong somewhere. A loud sigh escaped him as he paced the floor. How could this still be happening to him? To his knowledge no other vampire had ever went through what he was going through. It wasn’t bloody right.
“What isn’t right, Giles?”
Giles couldn’t help but jump as he stopped pacing. What the...? He had no idea he’d spoken out loud. As he turned around his vampire face was showing. Just the thought of Buffy’s blood made his fangs ache with hunger and lust.
Before he could say anything Xander yelled as he rushed into the room. “Buffy! Look out!” Xander charged towards Giles with a stake in his hand. That bloodsucker wasn’t getting anywhere near Buffy!
“Xander! No!” Buffy jumped in front of him and grabbed his arm. “It’s not what it looks like.”
“I bet you say that to all the guys.” Giles couldn’t help but tease.
Buffy shot him a disgusted look. “You’re not helping, Giles.” She shook her head at Giles’ sheepish look. Buffy rolled her eyes as she turned back towards Xander. “I’ve told you, Xander, we’re not killing Giles. No matter what.” She quickly took the stake from his hand and tossed it across the room where it landed softly on the chair.
She placed her hands on her hips as she glared up at him. “End of discussion, Xander.”
“Fine! But if he kills you don’t come crying to me.” He tossed over his shoulder as he stormed out of the room.
“Maybe it would be better if I left. He doesn’t seem to be adjusting to all of this.” Oh, good show, Rupert, old man. Take the coward’s way out and blame the leaving on Xander.
“Don’t even think that, Giles. Xander is just being well....” She paused and shrugged her shoulders.
“Xander.” They finished in unison.
“Okay, so what’s going on?” Buffy patted the seat beside her as she sat down on the couch.
Warily, Giles sat down but as far away as the couch would allow. “Buffy, I...” He whipped off his glasses and began to clean them, vigorously before placing them back onto the bridge of his nose. “You see, I... I mean...” Giles cleared his throat before he tried again. “I think that I...” He ducked his head and pushed his glasses further back.
“Come on, Giles. Cut the cryptic. You’re starting to worry me.” She reached over and patted his arm. “Whatever it is we can get through it together. I mean look at what we’ve already conquered.”
Sadly, he shook his head. “It’s not conquered, Buffy.”
A blank look covered her face. “Huh? What do you mean?”
He scooted further out of her reach and watched as her hand fell listlessly onto the couch cushion beside him. “I mean that it’s still here.”
“But we knew that. There’s no way to get rid of the demon inside of you, Giles. You just have to live with...”
Giles quickly interrupted. “I could live with it but you wouldn’t be able to.” He despised the harsh tone he was using but he didn’t have any choice. He had to get through to her somehow.
“I don’t understand.” Once more she placed her hand on his arm in a gesture meant to reassure him.
Giles closed his eyes and for a brief moment allowed himself to enjoy the heat from her hand as it penetrated his shirt. Everything he wanted was sitting a few inches from him. All he would have to do would be to reach out and take it. She wouldn’t be able to stop him. Suddenly, he opened his eyes and jumped to his feet. What the hell was he thinking? This was Buffy!
His sudden movement startled her but not enough to keep her from enjoying the view. Since when did Giles wear dark blue jeans and an open-necked white button down shirt instead of tweed? And when did he get so damn.... There was only one word to describe him now. Hot! Buffy licked her lips appreciatively as she continued to stare before she quickly gave herself a mental shake. This was Giles! Her watcher! Thankfully she was able to get a hold of herself before he had noticed her ogling him as if he were an expensive box of chocolates that she couldn’t wait to gobble up. “Okay, Giles. Out with it. Tell me what’s wrong.”
“I can barely control it.” His voice was soft as he whispered.
He shook his head. “No. Or at least I don’t think it’s that.”
“Then what, Giles?”
“Since Tara did the spell I’ve been able to control most of the urges I was fighting.” He leveled a look at her until he was sure she understood. “But this one is getting stronger every day.”
“Tell me.” Her words were barely above a whisper.
“I can’t drink blood from a bag or animal blood as it seems.. For some unknown reason I have to drink it straight from the vein. I...”
“Giles! Have you been....? She let the sentence trail off. She couldn’t even finish the thought.
He quickly shook his head. “No. Absolutely not. As soon as I realized what was happening, I refused to feed. That’s why I was so weak those first few weeks. And then one day when I was at my weakest I came across this house that...” He paused for a moment he really didn’t want to bring up the past or any bad memories she might have but he didn’t know any other way to tell her. “Do you remember what Riley...”
It was as if a light bulb went off in her mind before he could even finish speaking. She quickly held up her hand to stop him. She didn’t want to even think about it. “Yeah, I remember.”
Giles nodded before he continued, “That’s how I’ve been feeding. No draining and killing only eating.”
He shook his head. “None.”
“Okay.” Buffy stood up, walked towards him and slapped him on his arm. “Why didn’t you tell me sooner? Why did you let yourself suffer?”
“At first I thought it was something that would pass once the spell really kicked in. And eventually the bloodlust part did subside somewhat. I still have to have fresh blood. And that brings me to what I have to say. It’s something I should have done as soon as I was turned.” At her quizzical look he continued, “I’m leaving. I can’t be around you any more, Buffy. It’s not safe.”
“What do you mean it’s not safe? I’m the slayer and you’re my watcher. You wouldn’t hurt me not even on a bad day.”
He could tell she believed what she was saying with every fiber of her being. He just wished he could be as sure. “I haven’t been your watcher in a long time, Buffy. And while you’re right I wouldn’t hurt you at least I would hope I wouldn’t... not intentionally. But you have no idea how very tempting you are. Your smell is intoxicating and as much as I hate myself for admitting this I envy Angel down to the core of my being for having tasted you. Although I’m not a gambling man just this once I would be willing to bet that your blood would be so much better than any blood I or any other vampire has ever tasted. Even now, at this very moment, it’s all I can do not to drink your blood.”
“So this is why you’re leaving? You want to drink me?”
He hung his head, not for the first time ashamed of what he was. “It’s all I can think about.”
She didn’t know what to think much less what to say. “And you think drinking my blood will help you? That you’ll be able to control the urge?”
“I honestly don’t know, Buffy. But at this point if I don’t do something I’m afraid if I don’t leave...” He didn’t bother to finish the sentence they both already knew what he was afraid would happen.
Suddenly, Buffy squared her shoulders as she nodded her head; her decision was made. “Okay, why don’t you?” It wouldn’t be the first time she had allowed a vampire to drink from her besides this was Giles. And she would do anything to keep him from leaving, to keep him in her life.
“What? Buffy, you can’t be serious.” For the love of everything holy and unholy please let her be serious.
“But I am, Giles.” She titled her head to the side and pulled the strap of her tank top out of the way. “I’m trusting you to not do anything other than to drink from me and to know when to stop.”
There was no way he could resist her offer. He didn’t want to. Giles walked over to the chair, picked up the stake and handed it to Buffy. “If I don’t then you can stop me.”
“It’s the only way.”
She wrapped her hand around the stake and nodded her head.
Without a word Giles wrapped his arms around her waist and began to pull her closer to his body. All kinds of warning bells went off inside of her at his touch but not because she was afraid he wouldn’t stop at feeding but because she was afraid he would.
Softly he nuzzled against the side of her neck. He could feel her body begin to tremble as he slowly licked her soft skin just before he sank his fangs deep.
A growl escaped him as her blood, slayer blood, rich and delicious shot into his mouth, caressing his throat as he swallowed. Her blood was a million times better than he had ever thought it would be.
Buffy wrapped her arms around his neck, her hand cupped the back of his head as she urged him on. It had been such a long time since she had felt like this. She didn’t ever want it to stop. But of course it had to.
With another growl this one deeper than before, Giles raised his head and licked the puncture wounds closed. For a few minutes he kept his arms around her, his head tucked into the hollow between her neck and shoulder blade. Finally, he raised his head and softly kissed her lips before he took a step back letting his arms fall to his sides. “Thank you, Buffy.”
He quickly shook his head. Now was not the time to discuss their bodies’ reactions to the bite. That would come later when they both had had the time to process it all.
“No more talk of leaving?”
How could he promise her that? More than ever he should leave. Now that he knew the taste of her, the feel of her in his arms he shouldn’t just walk away... he should run. But all he could do as he looked into her trusting face was smile and agree. “No more talk of leaving.”
With a sigh of contentment Buffy wrapped her arms around him and hugged him closer. Giles was staying, that’s all that really mattered. All was right with her world.